Once I did this exercise were I was to pretend that I have never been born. Like in the movie, It's a Wonderful Life. What I found out was pretty bad. I am the kind of person that apparently, the very moment of conception was a bad idea.Through out the years, it was made very clear that I was a waste of space.An embarrassment for my family. Not because of things I did but for the things that I never got to accomplish in this life.
I thought that I could do anything and tried to do everything in my power to raise up to those expectations.I failed.I wanted to study medicine, but because of my health, my memory was never normal. I wanted to have a career , but for the same reason my body betrayed me. I wanted to help others to overcome their troubles, but mine were too big to hide. I wanted to be so many things that are by their very nature impossible for me to do.
I can t bring myself to regret or try to change something, that I have no idea how is going to affect the lives of others. But In a hypothetical world is safe to wish for things that I would have given my life for them to be real.
In a perfect world
In a perfect world things would be completely different. Wishful thinking can trap us in a cycle that any time spent thinking about the past is worth something. It isn't. I could wish all day about all the things I would change. But then again, this would be pointless. Besides, I am what I am because of my trials and shortcomings.
People don't have the luxury of what if's, we have to focus on looking forward. I can't take the chance of turning into a pillar of salt . I have to think that there is a purpose for everything. And no matter what happens it's never too late to start over. Isn't what faith is all about? To keep moving forward hoping for a better tomorrow.So, If I where to be born again I would have not changed a thing...