What kind of legacy will I leave behind?
When human beings are confronted with their own mortality, the perspective changes and so is their definition of legacy. I have had the blessing of being in the position to cheat death a couple of times. In those moments, I saw myself and the people around me quite different. In a moment that seemed like a second, your life does run like a silent movie in front of your eyes. Unfortunately , most of those images are tainted by the possibility of the things that never came to be. The very things that I should have done, the words unsaid, and the people I love and that love me.
Sometimes there is enough time to bargain and make promises to God and life. When I had my third heart attack, it was a very scary thing. The difference between this time and the other two previous episodes was that I was fully awake and in a lot of pain. I actually felt as the life was being yanked from me. My children were still small, and even though they knew that mommy was sick a lot they were understandably upset. Soul searching becomes a scavenger hunt for purpose and meaning.
It only took one minute to realize, that if I would have died that day, the only memory that my kids would have from me would be a sickly mother. That upset me even more. I did not want them to have to remember me by with only sad memories. Then I blacked out. I really thought that that was it.
Waking up from the mortal slumber
I woke up to a body that would not respond. Faces that I did not recognized. Then i found myself full of joy because I was ailed by a lot of pain. Yeah I was happy because pain= being alive! I had a lot of time to think. So, I mapped out what was going to be my legacy. I am considered poor by the standards of society, meaning I don't have a shoe to my name. So I figured that any one thing that I could leave behind had to be non-material.
I stopped focusing in my condition, and started building up memories and a strong testimony of love and God. This was not an easy task. When a person only knows how to suffer , is a true challenge to flip it around and transform emotions and beliefs into a declaration of love. If I had a Last will and testament, it would probably read like this...
Last Will And Testament of A. Celeste
I , Anan Celeste, declare that this is my last Will and testament.
I revoke all other Wills and bad choices I had made in my life. I am married and have 3 children from this union. All other persons that I cherish and love have received the same portion of my spiritual estate and legacy.
Specific bequests and devices
I give my entire interest in the lessons of love and faith to my children and spouse. Equally distributed among them and those will distribute it among their friends and loved ones.
I give and bequest all my interest to the following;
To my husband, the blessings of a life together filled with God and love. The love of our three children. And my unconditional devotion.
To my children, my unconditional love and acceptance. The teachings of mercy and compassion. Charity and faith. Never give up. help one another and be God's hands to the people around you.
To my family, I leave to you my love and forgiveness.
To my friends, I leave to you an example to never be contempt, fight and love for yourself.
Executor and Administrative Powers
I nominate family and friends to make sure that my testimony is shared and distributed to as many people as possible.Therefore my legacy is ultimately in their hands to give away as they see fit. I hope that this is sufficient and complete to ensure that the message is served in it's entirely.
I leave my full testimony to the world. The Lord has given me the opportunity to be here and share his love with all of you. He gave me the strength to forgive, and give what I don't have to others. He gave me peace. he gave me hope. He sustained my frail body, by holding my heart and spirit with his love. For this my last request would be to God, take my soul , but leave my love behind. So that it may comfort those that my life have touched.